Satisfaction

 Everybody reaches a certain point in their life when they are presented with the question- What makes you happy? Is it wealthy life, family life, adventurous life, quiet life? 

There is no one answer to this question, it changes with the stage of life that we are in. At least for me it was like that. And sometime there is no answer to this question, you dont know what makes you happy!

2020 was a very challenging at the same time insightful year for me. Many peculiarities for this year as opposed to the 'normal' previous years - pandemic, lockdown, job change. 

At the same time, 2020 was the time I went out of my comfort zone in all aspects, both personal and professional. I travelled with strangers, made new friends. Got Job in a #1 company clearing interview rounds that is considered difficult. Saved money in this job in a year, than i had made in my entire career. A work life balance that would make anybody envious.

Going out of comfort zone does bring stress. A lot of it and is making me unhappy. There is some sort of void. 

As some one said:

“Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress: Working hard for something we love is called passion.”

I dont generally care about money. So money is not bringing me happiness. But it does allow me to pursue some other things that brings me happiness like travelling for instance. You need money to travel.

It does help me in achieving my dream that I have for my retirement.

But, whats going to be a challenge is how long can I keep up with the stress. 

if it was FOMO that drove me to change job, it is self realisation that make me hate the job at the same time. Self realisation about what is it that I enjoy doing. I realize its not about money or job title or recognition or company brand or perks that excites me. Its the freedom to make decisions or creating new things or solve an extremely hard problem. 

And at this age of 36, I realize what does the term job satisfaction really mean!

Happyness

                    Happiness is...

...holding your niece close to your chest..

          ...a new cat choosing you, when you are not expecting it..

...looking forward to new beginnings, for every sunrise is a promise...

Random

There are some topics that I do not dare to write on a paper. 

Writings on a paper is more honest and true, just because it's not easy to erase.

You can scratch as hard as you want, but your first choice of words, your true feeling, even the ones you taught your mind as silly or superficial, stares back at you, piercing right through your heart, causing tears to roll down your cheeks.

The words that your fingers scribble, before your mind can process the correctness or niceness or relevance or bluntness or if it is utter nonsense, are the ones that your heart says. 

The impressions the tear drops makes on paper is the seal of trust the words carry.

Fingers on paper listen to heart.