Little Riya twisted and turned on her bed sleepless, on one of the cold nights of January. It was that time of the year when strong palakkadan winds were lashing against her windows. It was not the winds that kept her awake, but her mind that was not at ease. Her mother was sleeping next to her, she can her her soft breathing. Riya felt sad and angry at the same time. How can her mother sleep without a care in this world, especially tonight?
It all had began when her uncle bought a puppy to her house. He said he found it in streets alone, and Riya could keep it as a pet if she wanted to. She took a good look at the puppy, appeared brown, very innocent and cute and lively, but she also noticed that the puppy was infested with fleas and ticks. But she immediately knew she wanted it and looked at her father. He was not so happy with the idea of having a dog running around the house. But had to relent to Riya's requests.
They took him to bathroom and dipped in a small bucket full of water and shampoo. They removed the ticks with tweasers and scrubbed his fur with cloth brush. Puppy was bathing for the first time probably and was so confused what was happening, but he was so happy and excited to play with them and cooperated with them completely while they cleaned him. After bath his real color came out- he was pitch black.. They named him Blacky, and kept him outside the house tied up.
Blacky was very smart and active and playful. He used to wait for Riya to come back from school and jump over her as soon as she came down the school van. Riya was so happy to play with him, she used to feed him and bathe him. Some months passed by and Blacky grew up and so did their friendship and bond.
One day Riya came back from school to see Blacky was lying down and didnt come up to play. He looked tired and sad. Her mother said he was not feeling well, was vomiting continuously and not eating anything since morning. Riya sat with him, took his head in her lap. He licked her hand. She said to him "Dont worry.. everything will be fine by morning. You just take rest".
When her father came back from office she asked if they can take Blacky to hospital. There were no veterinary doctors near by, and her father told to wait for tomorrow. If he is not fine by then we can take him to some doctor.
That night she asked her mother if Blacky is going to die. Her mother said she dont know, Blacky is really not well, and she has never seen him like this before, so lets hope he is fine by tomorrow.
Lying next to her sleeping mother, Riya couldn't sleep and kept on thinking about Blacky. What if he dies? Will he go to heaven? Will he remain invisible watching over her and only that she will not be able to him anymore? What happens if he dies?
The only time she saw some one dead was her maternal great grandmother whom she called valiyammamma. She was old and kind lady with flowing white hair, always wearing white blouse and mundu. She used to sit in the varandah with her box of beetle leaves, running her finger through her wet hair removing tangles from her hair after a bath. Riya has never seen her using a comb. Riya has heard stories about valiyammamma, how fierce and independent lady she was when she was younger.
On the day when her valiyammamma died, Riya went to her mothers house with her parents. There she heard bits and pieces of conversations and all she could make out was that they are going to keep her valiyammamma on a pile of wood and going to burn her in the field behind their house.
Riya was sad and confused. What if valiyammamma was not dead? When the fire burns through her body will she feel pain? What happens to her white hair when it catches fire?
She was not allowed to watch the cremation. That night she dreamt of valiyammamma sitting in a swing with her stretched legs, her beetle leaves box on her lap and her fingers running through her flowing while hair untangling them. She was smiling at Riya in her dream. She appeared calm and happy.
Riya dint want Blacky to die. Thinking about him made her eyes welled up with tears. May be she should pray to God to spare his life. She was not sure if God existed. Her parents did not teach her about God or anything about how to pray. Her grandmother used to take her to temple, but she wasnt very sure on what to ask God. She was taken to church regularly in her convent school, but there as well nobody taught her how to pray or what to pray. Should she pray for herself or for others? Asking something for oneself is it not selfish?
Lying in the bed that night she decided to pray to God. If He existed may be He will listen to her. She folded her hands and prayed "Dear God, please dont kill Blacky. I love him so much, if you must, take my life instead, but dont take him."
She was scared to die and she was not very sure what good is it going to do if she is dead and Blacky lives. She cannot be with him anyway.
She folded her hands again and prayed "Please dont kill us both . We both want to live I will be a good girl forever."
She suddenly felt relieved somehow and turned around to hug her mother and fell asleep.
Next day morning she woke up and felt happy and hopeful, since she is not dead yet. Smiling and excited she ran outside house to Blacky. He was not there. She screamed at her mother asking where is Blacky.
"He was dead, dear. He was not moving and your father took him away to dispose him."
"But I prayed to God. How can he die?" She asked tears flowing down her eyes.
