Thursday, June 7, 2012

Mommy Diaries - Part I

I became mother of a baby girl on 30 th September 2010. Until that day, I never had any idea

about parenting. I have never held an infant in my life time. I was more attracted to puppies than to babies; i am a bit embarassed to say this; but that is the truth. When my cousins had babies, I never felt any particular emotion, I was afraid to take them in my hand, my mother would hold the baby and I will just look over her shoulder. I have seen my cousins taking care of small children in the family playing with them.. but I never felt like doing that.. It was like "this is not my department". Thats was about me and babies before marriage.

I have often wondered whether this was normal :)

Anyway, now things has changed.. and this post is about how my life transformed when I became a mommy..

My daughter arrived on a Thursday evening, putting me (and my husband ;) ) in extreme difficult situations; which made me think this is it.. I dont want anymore child. I swore this to myself; a labour room is the last thing that I ever want to be in for the rest of my life.

i think more than me, my husband went through the trauma; because one of the nurses asked me later who is the father of the child and before i could answer anything another nurse was smiling and said "Oh thats that person in the blue shirt outside labor room, covered in sweat!!" I couldnt help but smile.

But the pain and trauma was worth. My doctor said "Its a girl". In an instant I felt jealous and angry because I wanted to hold my child for the first time.. Grrr! (And first time I felt being a Gynec is not after all a bad job!)

But then nurse took her, put her on warmer checked her wait and everything. She was near me in the warmer and was not crying. She was not looking at me either. I tried to grab her attention but in vain. May be on seeing this, nurse took her, covered and gave her to me. That was the moment I would never forget in my life.. She was so beautiful, innocent, OMG! She was looking at me! And I didn't know what to tell her! I felt happy, proud, and top of the world and I cried!!!! [All these months during pregnancy, I could cry without any reason; thanks to hormones!] All the nurses ran to my side and were enquiring what happened. I couldn't say anything.

But that was just the beginning of it.

I hardly slept for next three months.. Whenever I was able to catch up with some sleep, I dreamt of my gynec; holding some equipments like knife and fork.. OMG!!

That was a period of feeding-burping-sleeping-cleaning-feeding cycles....

I was always worried that I knew nothing of parenting, will I be able to take care of my child? Am I old enough to be a mom?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Leave your valuable piece of thought here!!